Second Attempts.

Well, here we are, it is the second day of research papering, and I think it's time to admit yesterday was a red herring, or a mulligan, or a deep dark hole of nothing. There is not enough research on psychological treatments of dyspareunia readily available to me to write a paper about it.

So the first criteria for a topic is wide availability of research on it, and so I am writing about a very hip thing to write about- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. So hip the NYTimes wrote an article about it's creator Marsha Linehan LAST WEEK. So what's this paper I'm writing? It is an overview of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. It will cover the proposed etiology for emotional dysregulation, the historical treatments for Borderline Personality Disorder, the historical development of DBT as a treatment for BPD, the therapeutic process of DBT, and the exxpansion of DBT for other conditions that also manifest partly as emotional dysregulation.

So that's 5 subtopics, which I hope have a logic to their order. And this paper is TOPS 10 pages, so let's assume there's an average of a page and a half to each subtopic. Now I need a source for each subtopic.

1)A Biosocial Developmental Model of Borderline Personality: Elaborating and Extending Linehan’s Theory
Psychological Bulletin, Vol. 135, Issue: 3, Date: May 2009, pp. 495-510
Crowell, Sheila E.; Beauchaine, Theodore P.; Linehan, Marsha M.
2)Borderline personality disorder
The Lancet, Vol. 364, Issue: 9432, Date: July, 31 - August, 6 2004, pp. 453-461
Lieb, Klaus; Zanarini, Mary C; Schmahl, Christian; Linehan, Marsha M; Bohus, Martin
3)
4)An illustration of dialectical behavior therapy
In Session: Psychotherapy in Practice, Vol. 4, Issue: 2, Date: Summer 1998, pp. 21 - 44
Linehan, Marsha M.
5)Special Series Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Adaptations And New Applications
Commentary on innovations in dialectical behavior therapy

Marsha M. Linehan ,
University of Washington, USA, Cognitive and Behavioral Practice
Vol: 7 Issue: 4, Autumn, 2000
pp: 478-481

I'll come up with something for 3. Whatevs.

And then I'll need some other sources, but I can probably pull those from the references above.

What is DBT? DBT is a cognitive behavioral therapy, which means the therapist teaches the patient how to choose their thoughts and actions in an adaptive manner. In DBT the therapist teaches the patient emotion regulation skills. BPD patients both experience emotions more intensely than the general population, and they don't have the emotion regulation skills many of us learned in childhood. BPD is characterized by black and white thinking, suicide attempts, self harm and mutilation, problems caused by impulsivity, and intense, erratic relationships. In DBT the therapist teaches the patient how to identify and be mindful of their emotions without acting out the maladaptive behaviors the patient was using to cope with those emotions.

What factors create BPD? Linehan proposes a bio-social model. People with BPD come into the world with a vulnerability to intense emotions. They are then placed in environments that retard their emotion regulation skills. These could be abusive households, or simply families which demand they hide emotions, which causes the person to oscillate between stoicism and extreme emotional lability.

The first goal in DBT therapy is to put an end to suicidal or self harming behaviors.

That's all I can write about this without reading these articles. Thanks for being a part of this planning session.

Thinking about your thinking about your research paper.

You might be surprised by the anxiety you have floating around up there. Even if the paper is just extra credit and you choose a topic you found exceptionally interesting, psychological treatments for dyspareunia in women, which is PAIN DURING INTERCOURSE. How could it get more interesting? But as you wade into the pool of literature, it occurs to you it's a shallow, shallow pool. The pool for physiological treatments appears much deeper- interstitial cystitis, bacterial infections, there's even a surgery to remove the offending lower third of the vaginal canal. (I don't know what you're left with then.)

And what a nice thing, that physical pain should be found to have a physical cause which is then removed. So you think...hey, maybe this disorder, while described in the DSM-IV-TR, is not a great research topic, because it's a throw away category for cases they can't treat physiologically.

Uh, so then, you expand your horizons into other sexual disorders. All you wanted to do was write a nice simple research paper on treatment methods for a sexual disorder. But it appears the treatments that have had serious studies done on their efficacy are physiological treatments...so your psych research paper looks like it's turning into a physical therapy research paper.

Which makes you think long and hard about this big ole plan you have of being a clinical psychologist.

Your thinking about this subject has become very uptight.

And you decide maybe writing a blog post could help loosen up the writing mind and put your thoughts in order. It does appear if if your dysparaeunia can't be solved with the help of a gynecologist and physical therapist, you're maybe S.O.L. Or maybe not. There just aren't many studies for you to read about it.

I found an article by the professor who heads up The Kinsey Institute arguing that the dearth in research on psychological treatments for female sexual disorders was a bad thing. Obviously, another bad sign for my paper, as I was hoping to survey just those hypothetical treatments.

Um...I could do something more normal I guess. Sigh. Good thing I drank a Red Bull and will be up for the next two years.

Being Bored at Least 8 hours a Day.

Oh I was so bored today! The only exciting things that happened were meals!

And so nothing bad happened. Nothing bad. Not much good, but some good, those meals were nice.

You know boredom and attentional difficulties are related.

You can tell by these short sentences I'm having trouble even concentrating on this blog post.

I think I have been waiting for the day when I stop being bored, and it's never gonna come. That's not how human life works.

Sometimes I'm out socializing and get bored, and it feels scary, like the boredom is spreading and it'll take over everything.

Maybe I can work on my focus. If only I were a zen master I'd have no problems at all.

Fast Acting Loratadine.

How can you enjoy the warmth while crying and sniffling? You can't. You just can't. You just can't sit under a tree and marvel at it's height and it's fibonacci sequence leaf distribution while the salty contents of your sinuses are running quickly down the back of your throat and down your upper lip. You can't marvel while being disgusting. A zen master could do that. But they would have worked for several lifetimes for the ability to be on fire while marveling.

Why not take a fast acting loratadine, which is the active ingredient of Claritin and promises 12 hour relief? Why not just take the damn pill, which is citrus flavored and melts in your mouth, and forget about it?

Why not take a pill for everything? Why be ashamed of it? Many people spent 10 hour days for years and years to come up with these pills. They got promoted, fired, they had office affairs, they could barely contain their dislike for eachother's bragging, they thought about ditching it all, they thought about what a great life it was researching these chemical reactions, conducting these studies. All so your allergies could be controlled.

Do those people always take the allergy medicines they worked on? Or do they feel no emotions at all about the fruit of their labors, and pop a benadryl?

Let's not forget the people who manufacture the Loratadine. I can't figure out where those people are from the Loratadine box. The people who distribute it work in Camp Hill, Pennsylvania.

So many people working to make so many people feel the same way. The same experience reproduced all over the world. Total strangers tooling around in our sinuses and the corners of our eyes, drying them up with chemical towels and chemical hair dryers.

And the trees send out their leaves in mathematical consistent spirals, to best capture the radiation flooding the universe.

Kicking ass, Taking Names, Putting the List of Names Down Somewhere and Losing It.

Oh yeah. OH YEAH. You got stuff to do? Paperwork to turn in? Emails to send? Haircuts to get? What if I told you there was an easy way to clear out your to do list in one sweep?

The easy way to BE ME TODAY BECAUSE I GOT MY SHIT DONE LIKE IT WAS MY JOB. MY JOB. I ALSO WENT TO MY JOB TODAY, SO IT'S LIKE I DID TWO JOBS.

Hmmmm, does it feel good to be me. Oh boy, did I bike today, in the heat, getting all sweaty, but it didn't bother me because I applied sunblock like a PRO. And I picked up that prescription like a PRO, and deposited that money like a PRO, and registered for that class like a PRO, and drank that smoothie like a PRO, then went to class like a PART TIME STUDENT.

Nothing like getting shit done. Nothing like it. You look at all those losers in their cars, waiting to make a left turn, in a long line, and you know they're not getting anything done. They're THINKING about everything they want to be getting done and aren't. Maybe they should hire me to do their shit. Oh wait, I can't it's like I have a job already the WAY I'M DOING MY OWN SHIT.

I can't recommend being a highly effective go getter enough. Feels great. Feels top notch. Also, you have one day like this, you're starting an avalanche of effectiveness, but it upward propelling avalanche. The avalanche takes you to the top of the mountain. Or another way to think about it is the avalanche takes you to the valley, and valleys are actually great places to farm and settle. Point being, you're going places, and whatever errands you have to do in the new place, you will get them done also, in the same super effective expedient manner, you MONSTER.

Additional recommended material:

Unloading Your Shit on Relative Strangers.

You know, the tap dance of self reveal is a tough one. Especially if you are a very good, entertaining tapper. You may have been very inauthentic for a long time. Then you may have swung to the other side and been very authentic, and very detail oriented, in a compulsive way for awhile. And you still may get a little electric thrill every time you approach the line of appropriateness. You may feel some kind of relief when it becomes clear you jumped over that line with a new acquaintance by telling them your menstrual cycle, your bad year, your diagnosis.

Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? Because those wires have not gotten crossed in your head, the wires of embarrassment and reward? So you don't experience those feelings as two sides of the same coin? In fact, the experience of a rewarding social interaction generally has to be void of the anxiety that you shared too much? You are missing out.

Oh the faces your new friend will make when you unload. There will be a twist of fright, that may have a hint of disgust. Then a supportive face, the wide honest eyes with lots of contact, the tight mouth, will take the stage. Hopefully your new friend will feel they should share some uncomfortable experience to balance the conversation out.

Aaahhhhhhh. Ahhhhh the ultimate in anxiety relief, getting the wide supportive eyes. There's some room to move in wide supportive eyes.

Perhaps you are testing people, seeing how they can hang in the face of some weirdness. Maybe this long ago became a compulsion and at least you're doing it face to face instead of on the internet. Maybe you are a therapist's dream, spreading authenticity all over society, laying it on thick with a shovel.

Like a fragrant layer of manure.

Sunblock.

I highly recommend this product. Even if you want to tan. Even if you've got some idea that you have to burn the shit out of your epidermis a couple of times before fading into the lizard person you want to be. Your skin is your front line! It's the pawns in the game of biological chess that constitutes living another day!

A sun burn is itchy. It makes you tired. It may peel, which sure, everyone likes picking at peeling skin, but what if you have a date? What if you get a sunburn on a part of your body which needs to touch your chair at work or your bed? What will you do then, genius?

If you are going to lie in the blazing sun being lulled to sleep by the sound of waves, I highly recommend ditching the notions you have of which parts of your body have the capacity to burn. For example, you may never have had a sunburn on your lower legs. This may give the impression your lower legs are immune to burning. How quickly you will be disabused of this notion! Your lower legs have never been burned because they mainly reside under you, blocked from the rays of the sun by your upper body, but should you stretch them out on the beach they will burn like a back of the neck.

And so you must apply sunblock to parts of your body you are not accustomed to planning ahead for.

What sunblock is right for you? Any sunblock you can get. It is the correct one to put on. Put it on now. Especially on your hands, because you can't get a face lift on your hands.

We've reached the point in the summer where I get skinny. Because I'm not just biking to work, I'm actually going out to other cultural events (bars) and finally the new social engagement is paying off, in the form of my pants not fitting. And I'll tell you what happens, because it's happened for four years in a row now- I'll buy new pants, and come November I'll be a size 12 again and rip the new pants down the butt. Yep. Take a bunch of photos of me now, because I'm not going to allow winter photos anymore. Winter is officially the season of luring strangers from the internet into dates with misleading photos. Summer is officially the season of taking the photos.

I found out this person I know from college smashed the face of a friend of a friend into a wall when they were dating. What are we turning into?

You know someday my life will be ilke a movie, and I'll have strong true feelings the propel me into strong true actions, but right now my life is not like anything. It's like a schedule. Be here, be there, tire myself out, eat. Do this, do that, earn money. It's not so bad at all. Much better than not earning money.